


Ani ohevet otah'

by Sosayweall777



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F, Jewish Character, Serena AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 23:42:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15982979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sosayweall777/pseuds/Sosayweall777
Summary: The *Serena is Jewish* AU LITERALLY NO ONE wanted nor asked for but my lesbian jewish ass is delivering it to you anyways. Basically, five times Serena shared her being Jewish with Bernie.





	Ani ohevet otah'

**Author's Note:**

> The Kaddish is a Jewish mourning prayer typically said for eleven months after a person dies. The song Serena sings is the Haskiveinu which is a bedtime prayer/lullaby children often know.

Serena wasn’t sure how she was doing this. She knew things were slightly more Orthodox in France than in the UK but she felt she had to do this no matter where she was- and she eventually found a nice conservative synagogue nearby. She walked over on Friday night and sat down in the back. The services were starting soon and she felt strange. She hadn’t been to synagogue regularly since her Bubbe had died when she was in her first year at uni. She had gone for funerals, attended shivas, etc, but she hadn’t been to a proper friday night service in ages. 

As the liturgy began she felt it was quite like riding a bicycle- she remembered most of it. She had always loved the tradition of Judaism. It was so unlike any other religion although it was annoyingly always compared to Christianity. She felt as though Judaism and science co-existed, like strands of braided hair, weaving in and out of each other. She didn’t have to worry whether Elinor had believed in G-d, she knew she was a good person and if there was a heaven, then Elinor would have a place in it. She certainly had no fears about hell, since Jews didn’t even believe in that sort of thing. Eventually they came to the part she was waiting for, what she truly came for anyways. The kaddish began and she stood saying Elinor’s name and her voice cracked. 

Suddenly the room felt too small. She was at Elinor’s baby naming ceremony, the time she showed her how to make latkes, when she sang her hashkiveinu as a toddler…

She couldn’t do this, she couldn’t do this she-. 

She took a breath into the hebrew and she remembered talking on the phone with Bernie the night before. Bernie had said that when it felt like too much, she could reach up and feel her necklace (the newer one Bernie had given her so many months ago that at first she seldom wore) and Bernie would be right there, giving her strength. She reached up and closed her eyes as she bowed to the left and right to finish the prayer. 

“Oseh shalom bimromav, hu yaseh shalom aleniu, v’imru amen”. 

Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes and as she sat down, the hard wood against her back, she felt connected. Connected to Elinor, connected to her lineage through ancient prayer, and connected to Bernie for helping her, even now. For the first time since the hospital room that day, she knew that she was going to be okay.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Friday nights. Friday nights at Holby were full of drunk driving accident victims, rowdy bar fight stitches, and a night where the trauma unit was up to its eyeballs. 

Needless to say, the two co-leads of AAU were not commonly off on a Friday evening shift. Even more rarely were they off together. Unheard of even. But the stars had aligned and the two leads were off. 

Bernie had been daydreaming about all the things they could get up to (in the bedroom and outside of it) when Serena had asked her to come to dinner. Bernie had been confused. Dinner at home? 

That was far more Bernie’s cup of tea than Serena’s ideal date night. But, as Serena quickly explained, this was not an ordinary dinner. This was a shabbos dinner. 

Serena had grown up fairly religiously, not orthodox but at least fairly conservative. She had gotten away from it in college and had gotten married to Edward (a goy if there ever was one) and she sort of lost it. Of course she was still Jewish, still went to the High Holiday services (well most years anyway) and she had tried to have hannukah at home, though Elinor had shown a clear affinity for Christmas (what child wouldn't when all their classmates were talking about the joys of the yuletide season?) and soon Serena felt Jewish in name only. 

But things were different now. Elinor was gone and Serena had struggled over and over with G-d and why. She remembered her Rabbi telling her when she was small that the name Israel, the name of given to the Jewish people, meant to struggle with G-d. Perhaps in the haze of Elinor’s death she was reminded of how Jewish it was to be struggling, just as her ancestors had for millenia. 

So now she wanted to share this part of herself with Bernie. Show Bernie her traditions, her culture. Bernie had immediately agreed. 

“Should I do anything for the dinner?” Bernie had asked nervously. She wasn’t sure what to expect. 

“Just learn Hebrew by Friday night” Serena had replied saucily with a smirk. 

Bernie’s eyes had widened considerably, before Serena burst out laughing and rubbed her forearm. 

“I was joking darling. Just bring yourself.” 

Bernie had smiled at that. Herself, she could bring. 

Friday night came and when Bernie walked in the door it was close to sundown. Her shift had ran over and she quickly made her way to the kitchen. 

“In here” Serena had called. 

She was standing with two candlesticks next to the window and motioned Bernie over to her.  
“Okay so first we are going to light candles. Dinner is all ready. I’ll light them and then I’ll say the blessing. It’s in Hebrew but I have copied down a transliterated version for you...if you want to try that is” Serena finished, seeming unsure.

Bernie however could only beam at her.

“ I would love to. Thank you” 

As the guttural hebrew spilled from her lips and beside her Bernie matched her rhythm (she practised, Serena could tell) she had never felt so in sync.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------  
Serena couldn’t believe she was marrying the love of her life today. What was it that Greta had said? The one great love affair of her life. She was so right. Looking at Bernie’s eyes while the Rabbi spoke, she felt such a rush of affection. 

She hadn’t realized she would want this, but when Bernie had asked if she wanted to incorporate her heritage into their ceremony she had immediately imagined something like this. 

But oh it was so much more beautiful than she could have envisioned.

Her soft forest green suit jacket made Serena want to reach out and touch. She loved the way Bernie’s hair fell so softly at her shoulders, and the way the chuppah seemed to give her the perfect lighting, she had a glow about her, an ethereal beauty underneath the sun on this cool autumn day. How could she have ever envisioned such a majestic creature becoming her wife? 

The rabbi cleared her throat and Bernie gave her a small head tilt in askance. Serena grinned and ducked her head affirmatively. 

*Smash*

MAZEL TOV!

The glass was broken and she grabbed Bernie’s hand, pulling her in for a kiss. There was thunderous applause and quite a few catcalls from their Holby family. Serena pulled away and Bernie rolled her eyes at the crowd before kissing her chastely again and holding out her hand. Mazel tov indeed. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bernie had been acting strangely all day. Serena had walked in on her looking flustered and guilty in their office, trying to hide something. She had narrowed her eyes but decided to leave it. She knew from experience pushing her would do absolutely nothing. 

A few hours later during theatre she had been as consummate a professional as ever, so Serena decided it couldn’t be something too pressing. But she still had a nagging feeling that Bernie was hiding something from her. Perhaps because of her years with Edward she still felt uneasy about not knowing everything with a partner. But she endeavored to give Bernie her trust. 

However, the dam broke when Serena came behind Bernie and lightly touched her shoulder and Bernie jumped, quickly shoving her phone in her pocket.

“Bernie- what are you hiding from me?” she asked sternly, trying not to let her voice wobble and betray her. 

“ Nothing!” Bernie said quickly holding up her hands. 

“Really? Because you have been acting strangely all day and now you’ve just pulled away from me and hidden your phone. I trust you, of course I do, but you have to know how that looks.”

Bernie stared at her for a moment and then began to laugh. A hearty belly laugh with her great honking laughter. 

“I fail to see the humor in this” Serena said dryly, guarded. 

“Oh darling” Bernie said apologetically reaching to brush Serena’s cheek “I’m sorry. I’ll tell you now. Just the insinuation that I could ever look at anyone else when you are mine is so absurd I had to laugh. Well, that and the fact that I am the worst secret keeper ever.”

Serena looked confused but slightly more relaxed. 

“ Hold on” Bernie said and went behind her desk and crouched down. 

Serena heard a rustling and then Bernie was holding a package.

“What’s this?” Serena asked, taking the package.

“A box of Dusty Springfield cds” Bernie teased. 

Serena smirked and shook her head and began unwrapping the mountains of paper. 

“Bernie did you perhaps use a whole roll on this?” 

Bernie ducked her head and her cheeks reddened . 

“ You are once again subject to my fantastic wrapping skills” Bernie said as Serena laughed. 

Finally she found the piece of tape that seemed to be holding it all together and opened the gift. It was a beautiful maroon wrap, soft like silk. Perhaps it was silk?

“What is this for?” 

“Well… perhaps it is for the play that I am taking you to on January the fifth…”

“ No! No, Bernie you didn’t”

“Yes. It’s Hamilton!”

“Oh! Bernie! Oh how did you even get the tickets?!”

“Never you mind” Bernie said before being pulled into a burning kiss by Serena. 

After a second Serena pulled back. 

“Wait Christmas isn’t for weeks. Why did you give me this so early?” 

Bernie smiled a small smile at her and tilted her head towards the calendar. Serena looked confused and looked at the date.

“Oh. Oh Berenice you wonderful woman. Do you realize you are the sweetest woman alive?”

Bernie only smiled and leaned towards her, kissing her cheek. 

“Happy Hannukah Serena” 

\------------------------------------------------------  
It had been a long day. Greta and Jason were having a much deserved day off and thus Guinevere had given her aunties a full day. They were currently laying in their bed. The fluffy duvet was spread out under them, both of them too exhausted to get under it. Bernie was softly curled in toward Serena, her head laying lightly on her stomach. Serena was absent mindedly threading her fingers through blonde locks and her eyes were just closing when a cry was heard down the hall. 

“ I knew it couldn’t last. Greta is all about co-sleeping. Guinny doesn’t stand a chance in a cot alone.” Serena said with a sigh. 

“I can imagine why she would prefer to lay next to you rather than in a cot” Bernie said with a smirk. 

Serena merely rolled her eyes with a smile and got up. 

“Hold on Auntie Bernie. I am going to get her. I imagine that is the only way we will get any sleep tonight.”

A few moments later Serena padded into the room with the sleeping child laying against her chest.

“ She is just like her Auntie Bernie. If I let her lay one second against me, she is out like a light”

Bernie let out an indignant squawk but made room on the bed as Serena lay the baby in between them. 

Serena laid down and smiled at Bernie before looking down at Guinny. Guinny opened her eyes for a moment and looked as though she might start crying again so Serena gently laid her hand upon her cheek making soothing circles. “Hashkiveinu adoani, eloheinu l’shalom” she sang softly. By the time she finished the song, both of her girls were asleep.


End file.
